Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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