but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize