Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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