is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize