if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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