I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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