His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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