I could have mohawked her pubes.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize