I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
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four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
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Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You don't make any sense
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