About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize