Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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