he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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