it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize