It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize