i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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