Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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