Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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