Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
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i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
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Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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