I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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