Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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