I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
be right there i have to get my cape
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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