i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
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That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
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The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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