its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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