I love having hate sex.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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