haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
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i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
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somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
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