Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
i need some magic done to my vagina
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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