I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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