And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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