apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Sext me about skeletons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize