Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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