For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
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Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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