chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
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We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
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