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remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Randomize
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