Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
We have started to decorate penises.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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