whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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