I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
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We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
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How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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