i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
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