There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
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