A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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