she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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