I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I think I won the penis lottery.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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