if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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