And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I CAN MOONWALK!
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
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