My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize