So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
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