so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
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She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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