I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
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