I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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