I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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