Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize