Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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